Well, I finally got it done! After years of agonising, worrying, debating and building up my courage, I went out and got a TATTOO done on my lower back! Last Thursday, 18 October 2007, at 1735 hours, the tattoo artist stuck the needle and started the painful process of tattooing the design I wanted on my skin. It took 1 and a half hours and the pain was bearable. The design I wanted was of the sun with a smiling, friendly face. A friend commented that it looked like Versace's sun logo. Nah! Mine is simple la. No colour, just black, easy to maintain mah!
The tattoo artisit was curious as to why I chose this design, a sun design and I told her it was in memory of my darling baby Patricia. She would be 7 today. She is the sun that brightens my dreams. Angeline is the sun that brightens my waking hours. It is also for my husband who is my everything. Thank goodness, my hubby likes it!
We celebrated Patricia's 7th birthday last Saturday at her niche in the Melaka Memorial Columbarium. So far no tears yet. I still miss her tremendously and think of her all the time. The 'what ifs' still come fast and furious as well as the resentment towards my hubby's mother who pretends that Patricia was never born. Patricia's ashes are interred just next to her paternal grandfather's. I have noticed that most of the family avert their eyes and faces from Patricia's niche each time they are there. Ah well who cares! They can all go to blazes! At least she still has her mama's love!
Happy birthday my darling, may you look upon your poor mama's longing for you and come see me soon! I love you.
