Just another one of those nights!

It's one of those nights again! Frustrating! Sleep eludes me and I stare at the ceiling wondering why in heaven's name are the idiots living in the apartment upstairs banging away at 1, 2, 3am in the wee hours of morning???!!!! Wish I could sleep like Eddie and Angel! But then again, I have my own symphony orchestra in both of them! Their snoring is like a keeping me up too!

You'd think that after swimming and doing all the household chores I'd be able to sleep, but no, my eyes are still wide open. What in heaven's name is keeping me up I wonder? Ah well, might as well try and catch some zzzzzzzzzz before I really become an insomniac!

A Good CD

It is not everyday that I go out and get the chance to visit the CD stores. Well this afternoon was just one of those days and I found a wonderful album by Patrizio Buanne. He's gorgeous looking and sounds heavenly (ok ok coz.......u win!). He's such a looker! Hmmmmm......dreamy man! Go and get it! Ya won't regret it!

Musings

A friend asked me today, 'So how's motherhood? Still think it's great?'. For a moment there I just looked at her and thought she sounded so bloody smug! Yeah, she's still single and has the car, condo, latest handphone, notebook, PDA, etc, etc.....plus a shapely body of a 20 year old (she and I are the same age!) to boot! I was gritting my teeth as she just sat there sipping her tea (too bad it wasn't cynaide!) and proceeded to berate me......"Aiyo woman.....since you got that girl of yours, you've stopped living lah! Look at your hair, so lifeless and out of shape! See those dark rings.....blah....blah.....blah!" All these while my Angel sits quietly in her baby chair staring at this vision of sophistication and then back at me again.

As the so called friend droned on about how I was 'letting myself go to the boon docks', my mind went back to the day a year ago when Angel came into my life. I started comparing my 'drab and boring life, stuck at home with a snotty nosed baby demanding all my time' to the time when life was less demanding of my time, no whiney baby no diapers to change, no headaches or a messy house! Then it hit me so clear in the face that I laughed out loud and told this friend to keep quiet, that I would not trade places with her even if she offered me the world! She looked at me and asked me why even when I could see her incredulous face thinking I must be mad!

I told her that before I had Patricia and Angel I would have agreed with her. But children does change one's life whether we like it or not. I have never been happier changing diapers, wiping her snotty nose or cleaning her vomit off the floor! Life before was so meaningless! Wake up, go to work, go party/clubbing, go home bathe, sleep, day in day out. Weekends was endless rounds at shopping malls, drinking coffee at the happening coffee places, etc.

Needless to say she left the apartment in a huff and icily told me that "I'll call you sometime" to which I brightly responded, "Don't bother, till you learn manners!".......Angel was clapping her hands and waving bye bye like saying, "Get lost! Don't ever come round and talk to my mommy like that ever again!" I could not help feeling happy when I closed (no, I did not slam the door even though I wanted to!) the door in her face! Looks like I will be struck off her Christmas list for good! Who cares! All I need to be happy is right here with me! My baby girl and my husband are loads better than any materialistic thing!

Flu and Harry Potter book release

As luck would have it, the whole family was struck with the flu the day Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released! I got my copy of the book at 4.30pm on Saturday 16 July 2005 and managed to read up to Chapter 9 before the flu bug got to me! I got laid up in bed the whole of Sunday afternoon and the whole of yesterday together with Angeline (Her dad was the one who 'infected' us!) with a terrible head flu and could barely drag myself out of the bed let alone read! Thank goodness I have a wonderful and understanding sister who let me rest in her house after I had taken my medication. I was able to get up this morning and finished reading all 30 chapters of the book.....that too thanks to Angeline's napping undisturbed for hours!

The book is really not that SPECTACULAR as the last book. I dread thinking about the next and I think final instalment of the Harry Potter series! With all the hype this book cost, it was a real letdown......! Anticipation of a great story pick up from the last book was dashed within the 1st few chapters! But I won't spoil it for those who have yet to read the book. If you are a die hard fan of Harry Potter, then go and spend the RM99.90 (or RM89.90 that I paid!)! If you aren't then wait till your friend has finished, then borrow!

I have since fully recovered from my bout of flu but my darling Angeline and Eddie are still battling the bug so to speak! I do hope that the two of them will recover fast! Really tiring to run around after a 1 year 2 week old daughter who has a runny nose and crawls darn fast!

Of Durians, Coffee and Goodbyes

Recently I managed to sample some durians (2 whole fruits all to myself!) after more than 6 months of waiting.....still the durians I had on Wenesday night were not as tasty as the ones I had on Christmas Day last year. Now those I had last year were lovely! Pungent, aromatic, creamy, delicious and lip smacking! My poor baby Angeline was staring at me whilst I was enjoying and indulging myself tucking into the 2nd grade durians (who cares! still durians right???) and asking to taste some. But her dad said no durians for the wee one just yet!

Woke up this morning and suddenly had this crazy urge to just go out to the nearest Starbucks or Coffee Bean for a double shot of Expresso Con Pana! I tell you, if and when either one of those coffee places open up in Damansara Damai, you'd see me there for sure! It has been a long time since I last had a good, relaxed time out to indulge in my passion for coffee! I sure do miss my 'kopi kaki' like Cheng Sum, Lilly, Nelson, Andy, Tony, Angelia and YK. Wonder if they still have their 'coffee fix' every Fridays!

Come july 28 I will be saying 'goodbye' to a friend whom I've only known since 2002 but who has become a dear friend. He has brought me closer to God and he has always been there for me in times of sorrow, despair, joy and happiness. I know he's going away for only 4 years but then it's Rome for goodness sakes! That's far, man! When he comes back, he'll be known as Father Christopher Lee. Ah well, all's well that ends well! I am happy for my dear friend and he will always be my 'voice of sanity' and Angeline's direct line to God! Hahahahahaha! Go in peace Chris and may Jesus, Mary and Joseph be with you all the way! Will be losing another 'kopi kaki' for the next 4 years!

Another milestone breached

July 10 2005: Went to Jaya Jusco in Melaka (yup we were in Melaka for the weekend) and Angel had her ears pierced! Her father and I had decided that she would get her ears pierced after her 1st birthday. Her earlobes are still soft, so less pain! Eddie chose a pair of studs with peridot green stones (Not real ones lah!) and Angel cried only when the studs were shot into her lobes with the piercer gun! Her cries lasted only 2 seconds followed with an 'ooohhhh' when she saw her tear streaked face in the mirror! She stopped bawling after seeing how pretty she looked with the earstuds!

Poor baby was tired out with all the travelling! Slept all the way home from Ayer Keroh toll to the Dengkil R&R where we stopped so that we could use the loo and change her diapers. By the time we reached the apartment and settled down she was all pooped out! Travelling with a child sure has it's challenges but I am not complaining! Beats living out my life without a child! Yeah sure her whiney cries drives me batty, but to see her smiling at me early in the morning when she wakes up is reward enough.

Can't believe it is already a year since Angel became a part of the family! So much joy and smiles now, even my relationship with my mother-in-law has taken a turn for the better! Sometimes when God closes a door, He opens a window.........so maybe next time when tragedy hits, we should bear this statement in mind.

Till the next posting........shalom! God bless!

New car

Hello! Got the new car on Tuesday. Nothing great to shout about. A car is still a car! Gets us to our destination and a heck lot more convienient! At least now no more waiting for public transport!

Still recovering from the party. Never realized that it could be so energy draining just to be a good host! So many days later and I am still exhausted. Angel is just nicely recovering and she is loving her swimming sessions!

Sometimes I really marvel at how blessed I am! To have a wonderful understanding husband, 2 very beautiful daughters, a loving set of siblings and cousins, friends and most of all to have the good Lord Jesus guide bring to my life good and wonderful people and things. Much of the sadness when Patty died has dissapated but still once her birthday and the date of her death comes rolling by, I GO TO PIECES AGAIN! But I guess all the moms and dads who have lost loved ones would understand.

Birthday Party News and other good news

Saturday 2nd July 2005 I woke up early and excited for it was finally the day! Went out for breakfast with the family and got the 1st of many inane excuses given by some invited guests who said they could not make it even when they had confirmed attendance. By then I was immune to the insensitiveness of these people who just couldn't fathom what their cancellation was costing Eddie and me. No people, not monetary wise, just bitter disappointment at their so called 'something came up', 'have to work', etc.....but there were a few who never even called to say that they were not coming. Think of all the food prepared and would have been wasted! By golly! Some of these non showers were family members!

However, I am happy to say that the party was fun and the kiddies enjoyed themselves with the games planned by Estrel and Cindy. The MC, Saysoo did a good job of keeping the kiddies entertained whilst Eddie and I were rushing around trying to make sure we did not neglect anyone...tiring but fun! I was happy to meet up again with Karen and and Li Li. At last, I got to meet Andrea, Li Li's baby daughter who turned 1 in February 2005. She is really a beautiful girl and I am so glad to have met up with so many close and long time friends.

My Angeline enjoyed herself tremendously and her presents have filled 3 boxes now! Soon my spare room will have to be rearranged to accomodate all her stuff as there is barely any walking space in there! She loved all the attention showered on her and by 11pm that night she was already asleep. The whole of Sunday afternoon we all napped and totally rested. Angel is still catching up on her sleep!

Monday 4th July 2005: Angel's actual birthday. Spent the afternoon napping the poor baby! She was so tuckered out. Eddie came home and we took Angel down to the pool as a birthday treat for her. She loved the pool! She wasn't very impressed with the baby pool though. Started squealing with delight when Ed and I took her to the adult pool (of course she had her goggles and floaters on! We are not dumb!) for a while. She screamed with frustration when we got out of the pool and headed home and only calmed down when I promised her that I wouldn't hesitate to 'rotan' her if she didn't quit her caterwauling!

Got a sms from another friend (Ed's ex-colleague) that she had delivered a baby boy that evening of July 4th! Now her son and my Angel share the same date with a year in between them. How nice!

Tuesday 5th July 2005: Got the new car today. Went for a spin and ended up in 1Utama where we bought another swimsuit and a towelling robe for Angel. She was all excited with the suit but gave the new car a big yawn. Tomorrow we will take Angel for her next swim in her new duds!

Thanks to all who made the effort to attend the party and all the gifts given....most important is thanks for reaffirming that there are responsible and fun loving people out there! Cheerio for now!

Perils of Party Plannings Part II

Sighhhhhhhh...........I guess God is really testing my faith and patience. There just seems to be no end of cock ups! First the guest list.........thought it was finally confirmed and I went ahead and confirmed the number of guests with the caterers......now some are cancelling as something has come up and they cannot get away. Ok I am fine with that as some who said no are coming at the minute. No worries as any excess food can be 'ta paued' mah! I have a 5 year old nephew who can eat for 3 persons! yup he's a fat boy and spoilt brat too.....but I love him no matter what.

Then now I have 2 cakes and 1 jelly cake (given FOC by the caterer) and planning of the cake cutting ceremony has now been divided to 2 sessions....1st cake presented by my sister and the jelly cake will now be cut at 5.00pm and the second cake from friends will be cut at 6.00pm and I wonder if my Angel will think Mom and dad have gone mad with so many cake cutting sessions not to mention the amount of cake leftover.......ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Never mind, I shall relish eating the jelly cake leftovers and leave the other cakes to be polished off by whoever wants them! Glad I got the party favours done up and the party games and decos are not under my jurisdiction! Thank goodness I have my cousin Alvin to be my support and all time joker to lift up my flagging spirits! Yay! Alvin!

So to all those coming.....see ya! To those who can't make it, it's ok and God bless you!

Post script to last posting

Come to think about it last week may have been weekly horribilis but Saturday 25th June 2005 turned out to be rather enjoyable. It was the 'annual general gathering' for some of the participants and facilitators of the 44 week Bible Journey program 2002. We all met at Ikano and proceeded to Ikea Restaurant where we ate, chat, laughed and had a good lunch. Turn out was good as all who were informed of the AGG were there. But the best was being able to meet up and yak about anything and everything under the sun! Just because it sounds like we are a very religious group, don't be fooled by it! We too have our 'naughty' moments.

To the gang, thanks so much for the lovely afternoon and attention showered on my mischievious baby. It was good for her to see all the aunties and uncles again! Richard thanks for the sumptious tea at Winter Warmers and Mario thanks again for being my 'date' for the occasion.

Bad week

Gracious! What a week! Starts out with my baby being sick, my hubby having to be in Singapore overnight on Friday when Angeline's fever was still bad......it had to culminate in a worse case scenario Sunday evening.

We parked our car in front of Assumption Family House and thought we were lucky to get the spot. Boy! Were we wrong! When we came out of the church grounds after mass, our car was badly damaged! Some stupid jerk had rammed into our car and destroyed the back wheel axle and the back lights too! To top it off, the idiot ran off!

To the person who did this, you are the scum of the earth! We know where you work, you worm and I hope that someday you will know what it feels like to have your personal belongings destroyed and damaged! Thanks to you, we now have to fork out $$$$$ for repairs and that itself is going to take at least a whole month! And pray tell, how is my husband going to get to work? How are we going to send our sick baby to the hospital? I hope YOU ROT IN HELL YOU WORM!

What's a mother to do?

The doctor who treated my baby on Wednesday night just called. The urine test results came back positive for ecoli. Poor Angel! She was hospitalized from May 9-11 this year for the same problem. Now I have to bring her to the hospital on Monday morning to do another urine test and get more antibiotics. Her doctor told me that Angel will have to go back for another hospital stay to do further tests on her kidney and urinary tract once the ecoli infection has cleared.

Paranoia is fast setting in my being now. My fear of the same problem with Patricia recurring is rearing it's ugly head. I just don't know if I can take another blow like Patricia. My heart is heavy with fear and worry. Where is my faith when I need it the most?????

Just another week more to go and Angel turns one. The 'birthday party of the year' is fast approaching and still so many things to do and I know that by the time the party is over and such I will be the one checking into Assunta!

Please God keep my baby safe and healthy.

Sleepless in Damansara Damai

Yesterday afternoon was harrowing to say the least! My Angeline had a very high fever the whole afternoon and into the night! Took her to the clinic and all the doctor had to say was 'could be viral fever'....I just wanted to scream! Had a sleepless night and only got to sleep at 5 am after her fever broke only to have her dad wake me up at 6 am! Needless to say I've got dark rings and bags under my eyes.....not sexy anymore....PANDA BEAR STRIKES AGAIN!

It never is easy being a mother and a housewife. It may sound kinda cliche but I now know just what my mom went through when my siblings and I were kids. Even more so with me as I am a polio victim. I am one of the fortunate ones. I can walk almost normally with a slight limp and without any aid of a wheelchair or crutches. Makes me appreciate Mom even more. Just wish I had shown her just how much I love and appreciate all she had given me when she was still here. Mom I know you are watching me from above, I just wanna say thanks and I love you Mom. I miss you even more now.

Wonderful news from a good friend

Today I received wonderful news from a very good friend who is more than a friend to me. She is my 'sister' and godmother to both my daughthers. She emailed that she is pregnant! I was so happy to hear that. You see, like me, she too lost her eldest son 4 years ago. Her 2nd son is my godson and now to know that she's expecting again......just blows me away!

I am terrified of getting pregnant again! Yeah well, I am 44 this year and I already have Angel. My fear is that I will favour a child from my own womb over Angel as you all know, I adopted. Plus I am worried about the condition of the baby. Would the baby be normal? Would I be able to carry the baby full term? I am so terrified that this time around the baby would also be like Patricia, a Down Syndrome baby.

I am not against Down Syndrome babies......far from it! I just worry that if the baby is born with Down's, who will be there to care and love him/her? It is just not fair to Angeline to be saddled with the responsibility. Maybe some of you out there may be thinking I am paranoid and crazy to be worrying about a pregnancy at my age! Don't forget that Lin Chin Hsia got pregnant at 47 with her second baby!

Sometimes I wish that I had not started smoking. Then maybe I would have been able to have children 14 years earlier. Yeah, I was smoking 2 packs a day! My gynae told me to quit as my fallopian tubes were narrowing and the chances of me conceiving was low. Whan I finally got pregnant, I quit cold turkey! But by then it was too late. Patricia was born with heart problems, premature at 7 months, weighing only 0.95 kgs and Down's Syndrome. I was 38 when I finally got pregnant and 39 when Patricia was born. Just 1 month and 21 days from my 40th birthday, I held Patricia in my arms for the last time. She died March 1 2001 in my arms with a last painful shuddering breath.

Till today, I can still remember that awful night of March 1 2001. Sometimes I wish that there was a time machine, then I'd go back in time and undo all the bad things that I'd done like smoking and maybe even hold Patricia again in my arms. Yeah wishful thinking.....right!

Perils of Party Plannings!

Hello everyone,

Why didn't anyone warn me that planning a party for a one year old is such a headache??? Even the guest list is like a 'social faux pax' waiting to happen! In the end we ended up inviting close to 100 people (adults and kiddies included!). Then comes the RSVP part where we give a date for all to respond so that we can confirm with the caterers how many pax to cook for, book the hall to try and accommodate the 'masses' so to speak.

With the RSVP date given, we still have some who haven't given any response! There just is so much to do! Thank goodness we have bought the birthday girl's party dresses (2 dresses only mah!), confirmed the hall and got most of the things done except maybe the party packs for the kiddies to pack, ballons and decos to buy........and all these while the papa's going nuts over the cost and mama's so called 'over spending'!

Still it's worth every aggravation and headache because this party is for our beautiful and cute baby, the light of our lives, the pain in the rear and loved to bits by her doting and crazy parents. Just hope that she will not be overwhelmed by the number of people singing her birthday song when she blows out her birthday candle.....hahahahahahahaha!

my baby angeline

I am happy to say that after years of heartbreak since losing my baby Patricia, I am now a mother again to a baby girl (adopted) Angeline who turns one on 4 July. My baby Angel is so cute and mischief is her middle name. She has brought so much joy and laughter into this home and has helped my hubby and me to be more loving and considerate to each other.

Some may say that motherhood sucks but for me it's wonderful. Watching my Angel learning new things smiling and posing each time the camera is aimed at her crawling and now walking makes time pass each day pleasurably.

Thank God for miracles kan? Till the next time, take care!

My Own Blog

Hello friends! Since so many of my friends have their own blogs I thought I'd have my own too! To be honest i know next to nothing about BLOGS so guys and gals be patient with me. Most of the VP people would recognize my VP nick: scully1961........ahakkkkksssssss! YESSSSSSS! I am back!