CAN ONE BE LONELY EVEN IN THE COMPANY OF OTHERS?

Hello everyone. This is going to be one of those kind of blogs! Been thinking about loneliness and how some of us feel isolated, lonely, neglected and even isolated in the company of others. Why did this subject crop up? It all began quite innocently actually.

Last week, a friend called to wish me Happy Birthday (yup! 45 this year and still crazy!) and he sounded a little down. Now, this guy has a successful career, all the material things most human beings work towards to and a beautiful girlfirend. He has stayed single (he's also 45 this year) and thinks that marriage is a trap. When I asked him why he was so depressed, he told me that he found life meaningless these days. Nearly every night he would go out with his friends and at times his girlfriend too and then trudge home to sleep and go through it all over again. Even when he was with his cronies, family or in the midst of a huge crowd, he felt all alone. There were times he felt superficial and a humbug!

I jokingly told him that maybe he needed a break from everything and everyone and go in search of his true self! Didn't know he'd take me literally and scoot over to Rome! He emailed me from there and said that he still felt lonely in the midst of his family there and that he was going to Naples for a bit. Lucky him! He's in Rome and still feels lonely! I wish I could get lonely in Rome too.....an expresso would cheer me up!

At times, I too get this feeling of utter loneliness even when hubby and baby are around me. The feeling gnaws at me until I get so stressed out and just get mad with anyone and everything around me. These days, this feeling is even more frequent and no matter what I do, I just don't know how to get over it.

So anyone else out there with the blues like my friend and me?

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD!

Driving back from our holiday in Pangkor Island last Saturday, hubby decided to use the coastal road and exit from Bidor to the NSE. We stopped at Bidor for a break as we were hungry and our little one needed a diaper change. We parked just off the main road and stumbled upon a coffeeshop that served duck thigh noodles (ngap thui meen)! Needless to say we ordered that and tucked in! After our late lunch, we chanced upon a street vendor selling all kinds of Chinese kuok koih (kuih2 lah) and economy fried mee. It has been many years since I tasted these kuok koih and I was simply delighted to find them. So I bought some for dinner/supper that night. I thoroughly enjoyed these morsels and hubby and I decided that we would drive back to Bidor one of these weekends just to find the uncle who sells these morsels and indulge even more!

On Monday, hubby's brother opened his restaurant specializing in Melaka style Assam Pedas Fish in claypot and other specialities like German Pork Knuckle and Thai Style Deep Fried prawns. For a foodie like me, crazy over assam pedas fish especially the one sold at the Pasar Borong in Melaka, it was like finding a gold mine! So off we went so that I could indulge in one of my favourite foods and hubby could do his brotherly duty and show support! The name of the restaurant is Jing Xiang Ju Restaurant (Non airconditioned ok? Space open and big enough to be breezy!) located at Lot 7987, Jalan Besar, Kg Bukit Cherakah, Shah Alam. It is actually on the way to Bukit Jelutong if you come from Subang Airport way.

We had the assam pedas ikan pari, 'yau mak' in garlic, fried foo pei with a special dipping sauce, rice and herbal tea. The whole bill came up to RM28.00 and in case you guys and gals out there think that we got special price cause we are family, think again! Hubby and I insisted on paying the prices quoted on the menu. Aiya! Blood is thicker than water and that's why we insisted on no special discounts as they too are trying to earn a living! So give it a try! If you need directions call them at 019-2707113 or 012-6235833.

No, I am not promoting them just cause they are family! There is also another eatery that I love to go to when I am hankering for good Cantonese fried kueh teow or fish head curry, lucky for me this place is in Bukit Beruntung Rawang and the name is Triple Round. For sumptious goreng pisang, it is the stall just opposite the Bukit Sentosa Medan Selera in Bukit Beruntung! Many friends who have eaten the goreng pisang always insist on us having them ready when they come over! Then there is the cendol/rojak guy parked in front of the Gold Hill Coffee Shop in Bukit Beruntung. His cendol is heavenly and his rojak mee divine! So have a good time with these shops and eateries. Darn! I am hungry! Take care and have fun!

HOLY WEEK AND A HOLIDAY TOO!

This year's Holy Week was a real damp week to say the least! The rains were torrential and it was like a deluge that wouldn't stop! On Holy Thursday, I decided to attend the 7.oopm service as hubby was working. When we left the house, it was shining brightly with no hint of rain. By the time we reached Petaling Jaya, the sky had turned dark and since it was still early, hubby suggested we go for roti canai as he was hungry. It was still dry when we left the mamak restaurant and headed to the bank as hubby wanted to withdraw some money for our trip to Pangkor Island the next day. That was when the rains came! The rains caused such a chaotic jam that a trip that took only 10 minutes from the bank to the church took half an hour! I was so worried that I would be late that I kept praying that I'd reach there before service began! Thank God I managed to reach church on time and was able to get a seat!

Good Friday morning, we woke up to a bright and sunny day. Hubby was happy that it was not dark and cloudy. After breakfast, we went to church for the 11.30am service. Even at 10.40am, the cars were already double parked and the church was filling in with people! We had to park at the nursing school and walk to church with my toddler. The sky was turning cloudy and I had thought of taking an umbrella but forgot as my toddler was fussing and we wanted to get to church quick! Needless to say, the rains came and poured! Even after the service, it was still raining! We had no choice but to leave in the rain and go on our way to Pangkor Island. It rained all the way to Lumut and it was drizzling from the Lumut Jetty to Pangkor Island Jetty. My little baby was fascinated with the rains splashing on the windows of the ferry!

In all my years of observing the Holy Week services, I have never missed a service on Good Friday! This year due to some need for time out and regaining the true meaning of our marriage vows, hubby suggested this trip so that we could work out some misunderstanding and get back to the lovey dovey stage we have always shared in all our 17 years together. Thank goodness there were services as early as 11.30am at Assumption. I can only think that God must have been looking out for me so that I wouldn't miss Good Friday services and still go on that trip to strengthen family bonds and my marriage.

Easter Sunday, we attended mass at St Jude's in Rawang. I was experiencing a very bad back ache and had to sit through most of the service. The mass was beautiful as it was held in 3 languages and it was the 1st time I had heard the rosary recited in Tamil! Even my little girl was enjoying herself running all over the church grounds!

It sure was a weird way that things worked out! But I am glad that the Good Lord sent the rains and made things all right in the end. God gave me a good husband and a beautiful child to love and they in turn love me as much as I love them! The most important thing in a marriage I guess is being able to love and let love, accept all the downs with the ups, unconditional give and take and having children! The true treasure of a marriage is a FAMILY!

God bless and Happy Easter!

Marriages...are they made in heaven?

These days, you'd find most people sending emails, surfing the net, engaging in chats hosted on Yahoo, Lycos or Excite. Some people hardly ever venture out anymore as you can 'talk face to face' via the net too! All you need is a microphone and webcam! Some friends of mine have met their spouses over the net and mostly all have married to men and women from other nations.

Some of them have given up their jobs and nationality to join their said spouses in UK, USA, Europe and South East Asia. I have asked them if they were certain that was the best course of action as some decided to marry just for the sake of leaving Malaysia. Happily enough, most of the marriages are happy ones with children being born.

Then there are some who have gone there, married and now feel that it was the worst thing they have ever done. Some claim 'culture shock' or that the spouses were misleading them into believing that they were the answer to their problems. One friend is now holding down two jobs just to earn enough money to send home and to pay for the bills.

I must admit that when I married my Chinaman, I was not really sure if it was because I loved him or that he loved me. Nope, nothing as romantic as that! It was like because I was worried that I'd end up an old maid and all alone in my old age! But over the years (16 years and counting!), I find myself more contented and in love with my Chinaman and having children has even brought me more joy. So I can only deduce that it was because we loved each other deeply.

I believe that we are given a soulmate and sometimes not all meet that soulmate, so we have to make the best of the situation and make that marriage work. My Chinaman and I are poles apart! He loves Neil Diamond, John Denver, sleeping and lazing around the house. I love classical music, operas, going out and jumping all over the place! When we got married, some of our ex-colleagues had taken a bet amongst themselves that our marriage wouldn't last a year. They said he is a homebody and I, a party animal, so never should the twain meet! Now my Chinaman and I are having the last laugh as some of these people have divorced, separated or are still looking for the right one.

I have found my 'right one' and holding on to him for dear life! You see, when God made my sweet Chinaman, he broke the mould and now there is only one left and I GOT HIM! So blessed am I to have what everyone is searching for! No doubt it isn't always roses, we do have our quarrels and moments of anger but we work at it and in the end, I am emphatically reminded of the good man I married and the sweet children we have. My family is complete and I have God to thank for this.

My prayers are that all find the happiness they search for and God bless. Have a good weekend everyone.

Weekend at the beach

The first weekend of April was spent in Lumut. We stayed at this place called Orient Star Resort in Lumut town and the room was ok. The hotel is located near the jetty (about 5 mins walk) to Pangkor Island. We had arrived in Lumut quite late, checked in, rushed to the jetty and hopped on the 5.00 pm ferry to Pangkor. My little toddler was really fascinated with the ferry ride as she kept climbing up and down the seat (I had put her next to the window seat) and kept pulling me and pushing my head towards the window to show me things she saw. Her daddy took her out to the open space for people to enjoy the view and sea air and she was so thrilled.

We reached Pangkor at 5.30pm and proceeded to find some place to eat as we had not eaten any food since morning breakfast. After having a plate of fried noodles, which was good and delicious we went to the shops to buy the produce of Pangkor. Hubby as usual went crazy over the t-shirts and bought some for himself and our daughter. We rushed to the jetty and had only 5 minutes to spare before the 6.30pm ferry left. We reached Lumut and I decided to visit a shop selling souveniers and stuff. I ended up buying a cute blue outfit for my little girl and hubby bought 2 more t-shirts for himself and 2 t-shirts for me.

Dinner was a dismal affair as the BBQ Seafood Buffet turned out to be a farce with an offering of only grilled ikan kembong and prawns as the seafood fare. Of course they had lamb, chicken and sausages grilling. Then there were the usual Malaysian favourites like nasi goreng, kueh teow goreng, ice kacang, kuih and cakes. Drinks were orange juice and plain water. No tea/coffee and all cost RM25.00++ per person.

Next morning, we woke up a bit late and rushed down to breakfast. After we had eaten, we went back to our room and changed for a swim at the pool. The view from the pool and our room was simply spectacular! Needless to say my baby enjoyed herself tremendously splashing in the adult pool with her swimming tube and goggles, kicking contentedly and squealing with delight. She was very vocal about being taken out of the pool and only the bribe of something good to eat kept her quiet. Poor girl was so tuckered out that she fell asleep after her shower and milk feed. She slept for about an hour and we had to wake her up as we had to leave for home.

This holiday in Lumut was really what we needed and happily enough, we all felt refreshed and the father and daughter bonding was marvellous to watch. At least we made it home in time to attend evening mass.

Have a good week everyone.