Another year round the corner, new hopes abound.

Going back to my hometown to celebrate Christmas was kind of weird. Arrived in my hometown round 10.45 am. Went for breakfast with my sister. Then went home to the family house. Dropped my little toddler off with my sister and went to visit my parents at the grave yard. Real sad to see my dad's grave overgrown with lallang. Sadder still to see my uncle's (my dad's older brother buried next to him) photo on the tombstone fade to almost nothing! My mother's grave was in a better condition and looked clean. Managed also to visit and pay my respects to a family friend who died 3 years ago. It was poignant to say the least as when this family friend died, he had misunderstood me and was angry with me for something that a troublemaker had lied about. At least now his wife and family knows I am innocent.

At my aunty's house later, I felt that although the welcome was there, there was a coldness in the way my aunt spoke to me. I don't know why but as the day wore on, she sort of thawed out. The greatest pleasure was meeting up with my aunty's husband.

Somehow or rather, there always is a 'wet blanket' who will spoil my joy of Christmas and this year it was my niece's husband. Ah well, I am just pissed off at the whole world I guess that I am sort of 'ultra sensitive'. Somehow the emptiness in my soul is still there. Made matters worse when I visited Dad and Mom's graves. Missed them and the way Christmas was celebrated when both were alive. My dad's rendition of 'Silent Night' was beautiful and Mom's turkey, roast chicken, pork roast, cakes and cookies for Christmas were legendary!

Anway, my wish and prayers for all during this year's end and forthcoming new year is for all to have joy and blessings for the whole year and beyond. Happy new year everyone.

Christmas stolen by THE GRINCH

A friend asked why I was so gloomy. Didn't I know it was Christmas? I tell you, I genuinely felt like slugging her in the mouth! Like I needed any reminder about Christmas! Then she proceeds to tell me that I am cooped up too much in the apartment with my 18 months old daughter and I am getting too 'mopey'!

Man! I really felt like The Grinch had come to steal my Christmas spirit. I had already started to 'get into' the Christmas spirit and the idiot comes spouting stuff she doesn't even understand or want to understand. Thank God I was able to remain civil throughout her visit! Why, even my 18 months old toddler refused to go near her.

The thing that started her off was the fact that my apartment was devoid of any Christmas decorations except for the Advent wreath at my altar. She was so indignant that no tree was up at such a late date and the fact that my father-in-law's photo was up and there were incense sticks lighted in the incense urn was evidence that we were in mourning did not stop her from shooting off her mouth. It is not like as if she didn't know my father-in-law had gone back to his Maker. She was one of the first to offer her condolences after I had sms the news to friends that I would not be able to attend another friend's housewarming on that weekend! I sometimes wonder why I even tolerate her! My better half just cannot stand the sight of her!

So to everyone out there, Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.

A MUDDLED UP ENTRY

Well, it's done. Patricia is at her final resting place in Melaka. I am sad and trying to cope. It is hard. Each day that passes only serves to emphasize the empty spot where her urn of ashes used to be. The emptiness in my heart grows alarmingly deeper. I have lost most interest in doing my favourite things like reading. I seem to be running on automated drive mode. Just going about my daily chores because I need to, taking care of Angel, but most of the time I just stare into nothingness and mope.

Christmas? What about it? What is there to celebrate? Disillusioned. Been lied to by the one I love. Picking arguments with him over every little thing. Getting angry irrationally. Crying all alone. He knows but he does nothing. Christmas presents don't mean a thing now. Just want to curl up and cry, think about Patricia. I know Angel needs me too. She does make things easier at times. She knows Mama is upset but she does not understand why.

New Year? What will come? I don't know. Will I still mope or will I have bounced back?

D-DAY....Will I cope?

In a few hours time it will be dawn. Then it will be time to get up, pack up and get ready to drive down to Melaka. Then it will be time to place Patricia's urn of ashes into the niche already prepared for her. I just wonder if I will be able to walk away calmly.

I am not brave neither am I as strong as some believe. Deep inside me, the grieving mother still grieves, the broken heart is still broken. Nothing is ever the same once an experience like this strikes. I refuse to lie to myself anymore. I refuse to smile and bear all the pain as insensitive morons make stupid remarks.

Yes it is very heart wrenching. It is like a double edged sword plunging deep into my gut, like a spear piercing my heart and left a bit of itself there. Yes, the wound is still deep and festering and it feels like nothing is ever going to heal it.

Christmas? I don't know. Will I be alright by then? Some tell me I must be strong for Angeline. But who then will be strong for me? Who can I hold on to and cry all the tears? Angeline senses that I am sad. She looks at me in bewilderment and when she sees my tears, she will call, 'Mama! Mama!' and wipe my tears away.

Maybe in time I will heal, maybe I won't. Only God alone knows and only HE can take away this pain.

SNOW, WOLF, LAKE, A MANDARIN MUSICAL

Finally the day of the musical arrived. I was excited about it and a bit worried too as the musical was going to be staged in mandarin and I am not that well versed in that language. But as luck would have it, I totally understood the whole play.

To say Jacky was superb is an understatement of the century! He was MAGNIFICENT! I was enthralled to be able to watch my idol in person. I watched the whole play mesmerised. The costumes were fantastic, seeing Nadia Chan and Evonne Hsu in their dresses brought The Sound of Music to mind as the dresses had can-can petticoats. The stage scenery changes were not that elaborate but sufficient to fire one's imagination to follwo the play.

But the minus points were there too. When my girlfriend and I went through the gates to get to our allotted seats, we were asked if we had brought any handphones, camera or audio recorders with us. We were asked fo leave the items (if any) at the security counter. But being obedient and good spectators, we had left our camera phones in the house. So happily we went in to find our seats thinking, "Goody! No phones ringing in the midst of the musical!". How wrong can one get? Barely 5 minutes after settling down in our seats and getting comfortable reading the free program, we were schocked to see so many of the other spectators whipping out their handphones and gleefully making calls, snapping pictures, etc! When the musical began, we were again distracted by the lady seated 2 seats away. Her handphone was ringing and then to top it off, she answered the call and proceeded to launch into a frenzied whispered conversation with the caller.

I wonder which part of the announcement about switching off all handphones did she not understand? Ah well, that is the mentality of the yuppie mindset who cannot live without their PDAs, notebooks, Blackberrry and CELLPHONES! Please lah! If ever you go for any shows, ADHERE TO THE REGULATIONS about handphones. Don't spoil the pleasure of others.

OPEN HOUSE, DO THEY STILL EXIST? (PART II)

Last week a friend invited us over to her house also in Bukit Beruntung for Raya 'open house' on Saturday 19 November. So on Friday night we drove to our home in Beruntung to stay for the weekend. My little toddler was so happy as she loves the house there with the big space that she has to run around and her toys to play with.

On Saturday morning, we went out for breakfast and decided to buy a 'baju kurung' for my little daughter to wear for the open house. We managed to find one which fitted her but was a little bit long in the sleeves and the sarong. So when we reached home, I had to stitch the sarong and sleeves so that my baby girl would be able to wear it.

As we were sitting at home doing our own stuff, one of the neighbours (we don't actually know him at all) came by and invited us to his Raya open house he was hosting that afternoon. I was totally surpised but had to decline as the time clashed with my friend's open house.

Hmmm........looks like the spirit of 'open house' still exists but only in the suburbs, kampongs and when the ministers hold theirs at PWTC etc. In other places, like apartment buildings, 'open house' still exist but only for invited family and friends. None of the neighbours who had open houses here at their apartments invited their neighbours. Ah, but I too am one of them. I barely know my imediate next door neighbours and only am on speaking terms with the couple living on the ground floor. Sad huh?

Anyway, I like to thank my neighbour who invited us to his home and maybe next year when we are able to hold a Christmas open house, I will invite him too.

Whither our ecosystem?

I am happy that the lousy neighbours with the rudest kids you can imagine have shifted off just a few days before Hari Raya Puasa. It is really good to have some peace and quiet but unfortunately they left a load of rubbish behind when they moved on the corridors, stairways and landing. Imagine our surprise one morning when we were going down the stairs and found our way blocked by a 3in high single foam mattress! Some of the other neighbours were so furious that they pushed the whole mattress over the wall only to have it land on the roof of the ground floor back gate. It is still laying there getting wet from the rains and dried by the sunshine.

The tenants on the other blocks have stated that the block I am staying in has been dubbed 'the speculator's block' as most of the owners of the apartments here just rent it out to every Tom, Dick and Harry. What's even worse is that these nights at 2am there are fire crackers being let off in the airwell area and the loud bangs have scared my little girl so much that she no longer wants to sleep in her cot.

When we bought the apartment, we told that there were only going to be a few blocks and the greenery would stay all round us. Now the only greenery we see are the grass and the small hillock which I dare not venture to as there have been reports of robberies, rapes, snakes and monkeys that attack people who go to the lookout tower.

I shudder to think about the rest of the green areas of Selangor. Will the only tree, shrubs, flora and fauna our children, grandchildren's children see will be in museum photos? What then will happen to our Earth? Will we have to buy oxygen and stay indoors?

STRANGE BUT TRUE

On October 15, 2005 I lost one of my favourite diamond earrings. 6 days later, my father-in-law passed away. On October 27, 2005 a week after my father-in-law passed away, my husband found the back stud of the earring on the bathroom floor. Believing that the lost earring would still be in the bathroom, he searched on hands and knees every nook and cranny of the bathroom but found nothing.

Early hours of November 10, 2005 around 1.30 am which coincided with my father-in-law's 21st day or 3rd week anniversary, I found the other part of the lost earring in the same bathroom which my darling husband could not find. I had given up all hope of ever finding it but strangely, it turned up on that particular morning prompting my husband to remark that his dad who loved me dearly had found it and put it in the bathroom for me to find.

We left for Melaka that morning to attend the 21st day prayers at my mother-in-law's home in Melaka. Whilst driving down, we were listening to MixFM and heard the cue to call for Mix Box Office offering 2 tickets wortn RM490 each to Jacky Cheung's musical Snow, Wolf, Lake. Being a great fan of Jacky Cheung and hearing rave reviews from friends who had seen the musical, I called in but was not successful. Thinking nothing about it, I just put it down to being unlucky in these kinds of contests.

After the prayers and dinner, we left Melaka and as usual, I turned on the radio and heard the cue to call for the Mix Box Office. I again decided to try my luck again and this time, I WON! I was so happy and my husband was so amused to see me jumping up and down in my seat. Again it struck my husband and me that it could be a blessing from my father-in-law.

So you who are out there......strange eh? But true. Have a good weekend. God bless you.

What are Telecoms up to?

Recently, hubby applied for a new phone line under one of TM Net's numerous packages and also decided to apply for TM Net Streamyx because  the package was on offer too. Imagine our disgust when we were told that our application for Streamyx was approved but we were not going to get the service as 'there was no port available'. To top it all, when I called TM Point today to enquire and report that the CLIP function was not functioning, I was told that any numbers coming out from Sungei Buloh exchange does not carry the CLIP or any other services.

What then is the point of offering the services and getting end users to sign up and then tell them that it is not available in their area? Ridiculous and very irritating. What progress has Telecoms Malaysia come to? None whatsoever!

OPEN HOUSE, DO THEY STILL EXIST?

I remember the times when I was about 5 or 6 years old. At that time my father who was with the police force was stationed in Kulai, Johor and we were living in the police barracks. We were one of the few non-Muslim families living there. My mom was very active in the officers' wives club and being a very good cook and fantastic cake and cookies maker, she was always in great demand come any Chinese, Hindu, Christian or Muslim festivals.

Mom was never one to say no to helping a neighbour in any way that she could. So we knew that come any festivities preparation time, mom would be busy. The ladies club as papa called them was one fun club.

Hari Raya Aidil Fitri saw many invitations for us to attend 'open houses' and ate our way to full and rounded bellies! There were even neighbours who would bring kuih raya over to our house once because I was sick and could not leave the house. Papa was there with me as mom was busy at the OCPD's house helping out.

Deepavali saw again another round of 'open houses' and again we were stuffed! Chinese New Year and Christmas saw mom busy with the cooking in the kitchen and papa helping out with the roasting of the Christmas turkey. This time round, we were the hosts.

These days with the onslaught of apartments and condos being built up and gated communities, open house is no longer a fun thing. In fact, come any festivities, we are greeted with the rush of balik kampung and closed doors. Is this then the price we have to pay for progress? Has the values of days gone by slipped away or are they only practiced in kampungs and small towns?

Whatever the situation, Selamat Hari Raya, Happy Deepavali, Thanksgiving and most of all, happy living. Let's be glad that we are safe and alive.

An Eulogy of Sorts

When I first met my father-in-law 16 years ago, I worried so much that I ended up with a migraine as my husband had scared me by telling me that his parents were strict and very, very conservative. I was terrified that he would not like me as I was not 100% Chinese (I am a Eurasian Chinese) and I had a left leg which was about an inch shorter than my right resulting in a limp when I walk.

The first meeting was terrifying as my father-in-law just sat there and looked at me while my mother-in-law fired off questions left, right and centre. During lunch, he looked very surprised when I waited till he had picked up his chopsticks before I said the usual formalities of asking the elders permission to eat by saying, "Uncle, Aunty eat rice". From that moment on my father in law sort of thawed out and was friendlier towards me.

When I married my husband, my father in law was the first to make me feel welcome and he always took my side and defended me whenever someone said negative stuff about me. When I had my first miscarriage, he was the one who said consoling things to me. He never once scolded or raised his voice at me. He was a very fair and decent man.

When my daughter died, he was the first one I called and he cried over the phone, heartbroken for he loved my Patty dearly. Even in his grief, he found time to console me and my husband. He was supportive of me when I made the decision to adopt my Angeline even though Angeline is of Indian descent. He said it did not matter what colour skin the child is, what matters is that we love her and she loves us.

When he had his first stroke, he was still thinking of the family, not wanting to cause any kind of inconvenience to anyone. He bade us not to rush home to see him as he was alright. The second stroke paralysed his entire right side and from then on, it was painful to see him suffering so much. Even in death he wanted no hassles. He just wanted a simple cremation ceremony and told us not to weep or grief. The only consolation I feel is that I managed to see him 2 weeks before he passed on.

Father, we miss you. It is one week since you left us. I still cry each time I think of you and the kindness you showed me. I know I never said this to you but Father I love you. May your soul rest in peace. Till we meet again some day, Farewell.

A death closer to home

On 21 October 2005 round 7.30pm, my husband got a call from his brother informing him that their father had passed away 20 minutes earlier. We immediately packed up and rushed back to Melaka and all the way home it was raining. It was a very subdued drive home with my little girl sleeping all the way home and us the adults each mulling over the news and keeping our grief in check. As we had known that my father in law was dying and that his passing was just a matter of time, we were prepared for the news but that did not stop the onslaught of pain at the news. We also felt relieved that his suffering had finally come to an end.

The funeral services ended on Tuesday with his remains being cremated and his ashes placed into a niche at the Melaka Memorial and Columbarium in Melaka. The place where the niche is situated is a peaceful place and one does  not get any eerie feelings whatsover when you are there. It is a clean and calming environment.

Rest in peace Dad and be with God.

RIP Datin Seri Endon Mahmood

The weather today reflects the sombre mood of a nation in mourning, the death of the First Lady of Malaysia. The rains were like the tears of the nation, pouring out grief for a woman who has been constantly and steadfastly keeping a low profile, always complimenting and never once has Datin Seri Endon thrust herself into the political limelight. She has always been the epitome of grace, a pillar of strength not only to Pak Lah, her children and grandchildren but to the citizens of Malaysia.

Kak Endon as she liked to be called has given the Malaysian people and the international community an inside look at the private side of Pak Lah. Their love and affection for each other is well known. Pak Lah never fails to greet his wife with hugs and kisses, unabashedly declaring his love and admiration for his beloved spouse.

Condolences to Pak Lah and family. May Kak Endon rest in peace.

Rainy days

These past few days it's been raining cats and dogs. I am not complaining though. I love the rainy weather. Have you ever noticed how beautiful the dark clouds look when lightning flashes through them? Do you ever see the grounds soak up the rain water, how the rain pools into puddles and then flows back into drains, streams or rivers? Have you ever wondered if the rains never came, how humans and nature would suffer?

Much has been said about the dry spell which had many dams drying up at an alarming rate and some people had to go without water or endure water rationing? It would seem that now the rains are here bringing much relief as well as destruction, these people would stop their grousing.

Do we ever give thanks whether as Christians, Buddhists, Hindus or Muslims for the wonders that God has bestowed on us? We are blessed to have the use of our minds and bodies. Even the handicapped gives thanks each time someone offers to help them. Does it hurt to smile at a total stranger or even your neighbours? Is it because of our apathy that so much crime and destruction of our environment has taken place? Each time a natural disaster strikes, accusations are made that God is cruel. Have we the right to say this? Our apathy has created a huge hole in our ozone layer and the constant cutting down of trees in the name of 'progress' is also one of the reasons for the floods and earthquakes and other natural calamaties. It is Mother Nature's way of fighting back. Do we learn from this? Or does the thought of being 'noble' in raising money just so the world knows what you are doing matter so much? Does it matter how many thousands are sent to reach the victims of disasters in other nations when your own countrymen are suffering?

Charity begins at home. Teach your child to love the other inhabitants of the earth irregardless of skin colour or species. Even the lowliest of animals deserves respect. Decency has since flown out of the windows of most young teenagers these days with the culture that comes from MTV and the pressure to look 'cool'. It pains me to see so many young Malaysians aping the Western culture where foul language and disrespect is encouraged. Gone are the days when sneaking out of the house and getting caught would result in a severe caning! Children these days are threatening to call Social Services and report their parents for abuse and parents just accept the threats as we feel guilty due to our work commitments which has kept us away from home and from our children.

Now I can fully appreciate these words my parents told me when I had sneaked out to go disco dancing those many years ago and was caught, "You will know the pain we feel now at what you have done when you have children of your own." My daughter is only 1 year 3 months plus and already I am worried about what she will turn out to be. I can only hope that I will be able to instill in her the proper values and PRAY!

Dio benedire tu!

A matter of time

Sometimes things happen without rhyme or reason...or so we think. If it is something good then it is not a problem. But when bad or sad things happen, the healing process can be long and tedious. Come October 26, my Patricia would have turned 5 if she had lived. Many friends who know me well and some who have also lost their children know better than to make inane remarks to comfort me. But then again there are some people out there who are very insensitive or plain stupid and shoot off their mouths when Patty's birthday or death anniversary comes round.

Such are the remarks that are made: "Aiyo! So long already mah your Patricia die, you still can cry ah? You have Angeline mah, not enough ah?" or "Come on lah, the living are still here, let the dead stay dead in their graves where they belong". My ever patient and loving husband is also grieving for his first born but tells me to ignore these idiots and that it is only "a matter of time" after which they will realise that all I want is for them to shut up and leave me alone.

So what if I still cry when I think of Patricia? So what if I still carry her photo in my wallet? So what if she still lives on in my heart? I carried her in my womb for 7 months, gave birth to her and watched her struggle to keep alive only to have her die in my arms 4 months and 5 days after her birth! It is my right to grieve, my perogative to cry my heart out over my loss! So to those folks out there who have not lost their children through death, please keep quiet about a person's right to grieve and no matter how many 'a matter of time' statements are thrown at a grieving parent, understand that the sorrow and regret will always be with her/him until the day they die.

So folks, it is only "a matter of time" before I lose my cool and tell you to bugger off! God bless!

Chinese divination-true or plain nonsense?

Last Thursday night I got a call from one of my sister-in-laws in Melaka informing me that our father-in-law was in a serious condition and was not expected to last much longer. My father-in-law has been ill since 28th December 2004 after a second stroke that left him paralysed from the neck down on his right side and since 25 February 2005, he's been in a nursing home. It has been a touch and go situation since then and many of his sons find this very annoying and a blasted inconvenience to them as they have to work, etc, etc.

My husband, 15 months old daughter and I went home to see him on Friday afternoon after my hubby went for an appointment (job is important too!) and after my 15 months old got her chicken pox vaccination. Driving back this time seemed dismal as the skies were heavy with rain and all the way from Petaling Jaya to Melaka, my hubby had to drive in the rains which ranged from a slight drizzle to torrential pour. I learnt a new trick from hubby on how to beat poor visibility from the sheets of rain that were lashing the highways. All he did was put on his sunshades and presto! Visibility was good! Smart man my hubby!

Reaching Melaka, we went home to our house to unload all our luggage (when one travels with a 15 months old, luggages are a lot!) before going to see my father-in-law. The prognosis was bad but the old guy is still alive and hanging on tenaciously to his life. My mother-in-law had asked her daughter to go to the temple and seek divine advise from the fortune sticks that you shake from a bamboo holder as well as ask the monk to read from the "Sum Sei Shi" a book that purportedly tells of your past, present and future as well as when you are going to die. The prediction was that the old guy would not survive till 3 October 2005 and if he did, he would not live beyond 15 october 2005.

Well it is 5 October today and my father-in-law is still hanging on. Will the prediction come true? There has been other predictions since he fell in from the same monk and each time, my father-in-law has proven him wrong. My hubby predicts that his dad will go sometime in December for since 23 December 2003 till now, his dad's strokes have occured all in December.

So we'll just wait and see if the monk wins or is the art of chinese divination, feng shui and taboos are real or just plain cow dung!

Have a good week everyone and spare a prayer for a man who is longing to die but it is just not his time. Dio benedire tu (God bless you in Italian).

Neighbours

Neighbours are the people who live next to us whether we live in condos, apartments, duplexes, houses or bungalows. If you are lucky, your neighbours will be the nicest of people who will eventually be your friends (cum security officers when you are on vacation or away on business) who will help you and share confidences and their food with you.

But if you are not so lucky, you will have neighbours who make the Addams Family look darn normal! If you live in an apartment like me, it can be hell. I have these neighbours in the upstairs apartment who seem to live like zombies! They will be cooking, bathing, washing their clothes, moving furniture, renovating and just about every annoying thing you can think of, they'd be doing it..........at 1 am everyday except when they have gone back to their hometowns or wherever they sprung from.

These so called neighbours are also very lackadaisal about their children running around in the apartment block vandalising just about everything in sight and littering. You can see the candy wrappers strewn all over the hillock at the back and in the parking lots too! There was even a time when soiled baby diapers were seen floating down their windows to fall splat on one of the cars parked beneath their windows! The children love to ring doorbells and run off! Complaints to the parents fall on deaf ears for the kids are still doing it and now they have even taken to scratching the paintwork off all the new cars in the parking lots. So far 8 cars have had their bodies scratched and my car was not spared either!

Then there is the couple downstairs whose only interest in life is to fight each other tooth and nail in the wee hours of the night. The husband will be shouting and the wife will be cutting, slashing herself with knives and pieces of broken glass they will be hitting each other and hurting one another. There will be a lot of things thrown around and there were even times when the police had to be involved.

There is also a guy who comes back drunk every night and starts to kick the doors and gates of the apartments he passes to get to his own and threatens anyone who dares to confront him with bodily harm. Again the police had to be called in to take the man away.

All these happenings in the apartment block are usually ignored by the other tenants as no one wants any problems or involvement. Is this then the famous APATHY practised by us Malaysians? Or are we so busy chasing our own dreams to even remember to say hello or just smile at our neighbours? I have lived here for 4 years and I only know the guys next door and the neighbour next to them and the couple downstairs. Where then, are the friendly, caring and compassionate Malaysians that raises to help in the tsunamis, earthquakes and other tragedies that don't involve them? Do they exist only for the publicity they can garner?

So what kind of neighbour are you? The nosy one? The friendly one? The 'kiasu and kiasees'?

Diana-Saint or Egg Head???

Today I watched on telly the docu-drama Tribute to Diana. It was something to ponder on. Some questions raced through my mind, not to mention the absolute feeling of disgust at the paparazzi's constant pursuit of her with a tragic end.

Diana and I are the same age. I watched her fairy tale wedding take place, the birth of her 2 sons, the way Charles totally destroyed a sweet and beautifully innocent young lady and turning her into a bulimic and insecured woman. Whether her relationship with Dodi would have culminated in marriage is still pure speculation. There is no denying the love she had for Dodi but would Diana have given up everything including her sons for Dodi? Knowing the Royal Family the way she did, I am sure that she would have taken into consideration the fact that she would have to embrace Islam to marry Dodi and that would have been ammunition enough for Charles to stop her from even seeing her sons.

The Princess is dead now for 8 years and still her memory lives on. Her work with the land mines issue, the AIDs awareness and other wonderful things she did during her lifetime has been overshadowed by the 'romance' with Dodi, the scathing remarks issued by her ex husband and others who are just plain stupid. The 'dirty linen' written by her ex-employees are an insult to her memory. Let her rest in peace and stop all the negative reports about her for the sakes of Princes William and Harry.

Diana, rest in peace.

Ashes to ashes Part II

To continue with the last post, I called a certain place in Selangor to ask about niche prices in their columbarium. A few years back, a friend's mother's funeral was held there and I had taken a brochure and price list from them. I was told by one of the sales person that the lower level niches were totally sold out and only upper level niches costing RM1600.00 onwards were available. Try as I might to find out just exactly how much it would cost to buy the next affordable niche, I was told to go there and have a look.

I have always thought that once death comes round, burials/cremations and everything else would be easy peasy! Wrong! There are so many rituals and most rituals cost $$$$$! Buying a coffin/casket depends on the kind of material the said item is made from. Then there is the wake and all the other mojo attached to the ceremony itself! A chinese funeral depending on which dialect you belong to would wary from ceremony to ceremony, costing from at least RM10,000 omwards!

So with trepidation I told my better half just what the sales person had said and told him to go and have a 'look and see' as suggested. I also told him that he was not to make any major decisions without consulting me and the main criteria I set on him is that he has to buy 2 niches side by side so that when Patricia's ashes are placed in her niche, she'd know that when I too an no longer on this earth, my ashes would be placed next to hers. Morbid? Nope. Just something I think I should do before I too go off into the great blue yonder. Never know when the Grim Reaper comes knocking!

Peace and love to all!

Ashes to ashes

Recently my husband and I had a discussion about our daughter Patricia who died on 1 March 2001 aged 4 months. Her ashes since her cremation on 2 March 2001 has been placed at home with us and wherever we go, the ashes go. Well it's coming to her 5th birthday soon this 26 October and her father suddenly drops this bombshell on me about placing Patricia's ashes in a columbarium. It seems that he has been planning to do this for quite a while and well, I am just not taking this too well.

I know that at some point in time I will have to do it. Even Father Andrew Volle whom I respect and love like my own father has advised me to do it at some point or other. I just find it so hard to think of Patricia being away from me. It is so final, a closure of sorts. Am I ready for this closure? Will I ever be ready? Patricia is the flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. My first born and only child of my womb.

Placing her urn in the niche at the columbarium seems like an act of abandonment to me, a betrayal of trust. I never had the chance to care for patty like I am caring now for Angeline, so it is like a double whammy of guilt trips and what nots! I dunno maybe I am not ready maybe I will never be ready. I just know that sometimes in the dead of night when I toss and turn in bed unable to sleep, I think of my beautiful Pitty Pat as I call her and tears flow unceasingly. Even now my eyes are swimming in tears. I just cannot think of Patty all alone in that cold lonely niche with strangers all around her.

Maybe someday when I see her again, she can tell me why God took her back from me and why she is who she is today........Angel Patricia, my baby, my girl, my one love.

Life's a joke!

Life sometimes loves to play cruel jokes and test a person's level of endurance and tolerance for pain. Sometimes, we can cope with it but other times, we need some divine intervention! My hubby and I had planned to leave for our journey to Penang with stopovers in Ipoh and Bukit Mertajam early on Sunday morning. As usual, whatever has been planned sometimes do not work out the way you want it. We left later than planned and arrived in Bukit Mertajam around 2 pm after stopping in Ipoh to say hello and show off my baby girl to my maternal aunt in Ipoh.

While at the shrine of St Anne's Church, I saw an Indian man walking barefooted up towards the statue. When he reached the altar he knelt down to pray and started crying so pitifully. He was so earnest in prayer and kept hugging the feet of the statue of St Anne. He was in so much pain and looked so lost.

My heart went out to him and I approached him asking him if I could help in anyway. He told me that his son had been wrongly medicated by some doctor and was critically ill after that. He was worried that his son would not pull through and that the doctor has washed his hands off the case. He had come to the shrine to seek St Anne's help for his son. I asked if he minded my praying for his son too and he looked a little relieved. I gave him an empty mineral water bottle and asked him to take the water from the church grounds (tap water from the hillock lah!) and to wipe his son's face with it. I also gave him a holy picture of St Anne and the Brown Scapular of Mary to place under his son's pillow. He was so happy that a total stranger took some time out to speak with him and listen to his sorrows. I had told him about the miracle St Anne had worked for me. As we left the shrine together, I casually asked him if he was a Christian, he said that he was a Hindu.

It sure shows that St Anne's fame and generousity in helping others is well documented in and out of Bukit Mertajam. I wonder how the little boy Sugran is doing and how his father Chandramoorthy is doing. Please pray for this young boy and his family. I pray that he has recovered.

God bless and Happy Merdeka.

The Joys of Motherhood?????

There are many times the above captioned has crossed my mind, it frustrates, boggles and at times entertains as well. Watching Angeline grow and seeing her learn things so fast enchants but yet at times scary too! Angeline is 1 year 1 month and 22 days old and already fast growing taller each day. She has a cheeky smile and mischevious minx just loves to give me a cardiac arrest!!

Yesterday, she crawled so fast after her daddy and stopped at the altar of one of the 'god' that her daddy prays to (he's Chinese and Buddhist) and started to play with the oil lamp. Her dad promptly yelled at her and carried her over to me so that I could clean her hands. I was so mad at her dad for allowing her to get away with it that I smacked her hands and caned her (6 strokes! OUCH!) soundly! My heart broke when she cried but I had to be strong or she won't know what she did wrong! On Tuesday night she got smacked by her dad for playing with the electric sockets! Poor baby!

Each day when she wakes up (sleeps round 11.30 pm) at 11 am or 12 noon depending on her mood, she will call Mama and smile at me if I am in the room. If she wakes up and I am not there, you can hear her wailing even from the car park! After having her milk, she will promptly give me the empty bottle (oh yes! she holds her own bottle and feeds herself now!) and ask me to carry her ("Mama, poh poh" which means "Mama, carry") out of her cot. She is now learning to stand on her own and has taken her first small baby step today! Her face was full of glee and she was crowing about her achievements! Kept calling her dad to look at her and screaming when he didn't!

I wonder how she will react to the feel of grass or sand on her toes? Maybe she will enjoy the sand more than the grass! Yup, no doubt about it.....there is joy in being a mother but there is also the sad part, like when she is sick or when I have to cane her. I love my Angeline and I'd like to think that she loves me too. She is closer to me now. She used to favour her dad but now it's more to Mama! Best part is each time we ask her, "Angel, who is naughty?" she will answer with a cheeky smile, "DADDY!" She loves to play with any kind of ball. She has a beach ball, a smiley face soft ball, a pink plain bouncy plastic ball and a small 5 ins purple butterfly ball. She now likes to play with the butterfly motif ball and will scream in glee when she manages to catch the ball, roll it or even throw it.

The joys of motherhood? You figure it out for yourself....I already have. God bless you all!

Contests and winning them!

Yesterday evening round 6 pm, I was tired out and grumpy after having cooked and run after an over active 1 year old who insisted in climbing the chairs and coffee table; standing and shaking her little tush even when she can't walk and whiney like mad, a call came on my cell. Needless to say, I was grumpy and irritated thinking it was just another one of those telemarketeers trying to talk me into buying something! I am so ashamed to say that I was RUDE to the poor young lady who had called to inform me that I was one of the winners in the BEWITCHED contest run by Hallmark and Astro!

First contest I had won this year and I had to go and be rude to the bearer of good news! To the young lady I apologised over the phone. She was real understanding about it. Needless to say my darling better half 'pooh poohed' my win.....sigh! That is one hard jock to please!

Anyway, have a good weekend and God bless!

Another day, another insight

Seems like each day something new crops up. Changes are abound in one's life. How we deal with this is another matter. After all, life has a funny way of slapping you upside down when you least expect it! Here I am at 44, a wife and a mother, thinking about what I have done in this life to deserve all the good I have in my life. Some tell me not to look the gift horse in the mouth and just to enjoy what I have. Yeah I can live with that.

Well, mega sales again and there are 1001 things to buy but moneywise, can afford totally nothing! I would love to buy a notebook so that I can surf the net anytime, anywhere. Then there is the diamond stud earrings and cross that I've been eyeing, the LEVI'S jeans that makes me look good, the NIKE trainers I want, the new swimming costume I need, etc....etc....sigh!

Oh yeah, the new series, Desparate Housewives.......funny enough, I enjoy it. I watched the first episode and I am hooked. Then there is the other show, The Collector.....interesting to think that the horned one would need an 'assistant' to help him collect the corrupted souls. Today CSI Miami Season 3 is back! Yay! Overdose of good shows!

Just another one of those nights!

It's one of those nights again! Frustrating! Sleep eludes me and I stare at the ceiling wondering why in heaven's name are the idiots living in the apartment upstairs banging away at 1, 2, 3am in the wee hours of morning???!!!! Wish I could sleep like Eddie and Angel! But then again, I have my own symphony orchestra in both of them! Their snoring is like a keeping me up too!

You'd think that after swimming and doing all the household chores I'd be able to sleep, but no, my eyes are still wide open. What in heaven's name is keeping me up I wonder? Ah well, might as well try and catch some zzzzzzzzzz before I really become an insomniac!

A Good CD

It is not everyday that I go out and get the chance to visit the CD stores. Well this afternoon was just one of those days and I found a wonderful album by Patrizio Buanne. He's gorgeous looking and sounds heavenly (ok ok coz.......u win!). He's such a looker! Hmmmmm......dreamy man! Go and get it! Ya won't regret it!

Musings

A friend asked me today, 'So how's motherhood? Still think it's great?'. For a moment there I just looked at her and thought she sounded so bloody smug! Yeah, she's still single and has the car, condo, latest handphone, notebook, PDA, etc, etc.....plus a shapely body of a 20 year old (she and I are the same age!) to boot! I was gritting my teeth as she just sat there sipping her tea (too bad it wasn't cynaide!) and proceeded to berate me......"Aiyo woman.....since you got that girl of yours, you've stopped living lah! Look at your hair, so lifeless and out of shape! See those dark rings.....blah....blah.....blah!" All these while my Angel sits quietly in her baby chair staring at this vision of sophistication and then back at me again.

As the so called friend droned on about how I was 'letting myself go to the boon docks', my mind went back to the day a year ago when Angel came into my life. I started comparing my 'drab and boring life, stuck at home with a snotty nosed baby demanding all my time' to the time when life was less demanding of my time, no whiney baby no diapers to change, no headaches or a messy house! Then it hit me so clear in the face that I laughed out loud and told this friend to keep quiet, that I would not trade places with her even if she offered me the world! She looked at me and asked me why even when I could see her incredulous face thinking I must be mad!

I told her that before I had Patricia and Angel I would have agreed with her. But children does change one's life whether we like it or not. I have never been happier changing diapers, wiping her snotty nose or cleaning her vomit off the floor! Life before was so meaningless! Wake up, go to work, go party/clubbing, go home bathe, sleep, day in day out. Weekends was endless rounds at shopping malls, drinking coffee at the happening coffee places, etc.

Needless to say she left the apartment in a huff and icily told me that "I'll call you sometime" to which I brightly responded, "Don't bother, till you learn manners!".......Angel was clapping her hands and waving bye bye like saying, "Get lost! Don't ever come round and talk to my mommy like that ever again!" I could not help feeling happy when I closed (no, I did not slam the door even though I wanted to!) the door in her face! Looks like I will be struck off her Christmas list for good! Who cares! All I need to be happy is right here with me! My baby girl and my husband are loads better than any materialistic thing!

Flu and Harry Potter book release

As luck would have it, the whole family was struck with the flu the day Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released! I got my copy of the book at 4.30pm on Saturday 16 July 2005 and managed to read up to Chapter 9 before the flu bug got to me! I got laid up in bed the whole of Sunday afternoon and the whole of yesterday together with Angeline (Her dad was the one who 'infected' us!) with a terrible head flu and could barely drag myself out of the bed let alone read! Thank goodness I have a wonderful and understanding sister who let me rest in her house after I had taken my medication. I was able to get up this morning and finished reading all 30 chapters of the book.....that too thanks to Angeline's napping undisturbed for hours!

The book is really not that SPECTACULAR as the last book. I dread thinking about the next and I think final instalment of the Harry Potter series! With all the hype this book cost, it was a real letdown......! Anticipation of a great story pick up from the last book was dashed within the 1st few chapters! But I won't spoil it for those who have yet to read the book. If you are a die hard fan of Harry Potter, then go and spend the RM99.90 (or RM89.90 that I paid!)! If you aren't then wait till your friend has finished, then borrow!

I have since fully recovered from my bout of flu but my darling Angeline and Eddie are still battling the bug so to speak! I do hope that the two of them will recover fast! Really tiring to run around after a 1 year 2 week old daughter who has a runny nose and crawls darn fast!

Of Durians, Coffee and Goodbyes

Recently I managed to sample some durians (2 whole fruits all to myself!) after more than 6 months of waiting.....still the durians I had on Wenesday night were not as tasty as the ones I had on Christmas Day last year. Now those I had last year were lovely! Pungent, aromatic, creamy, delicious and lip smacking! My poor baby Angeline was staring at me whilst I was enjoying and indulging myself tucking into the 2nd grade durians (who cares! still durians right???) and asking to taste some. But her dad said no durians for the wee one just yet!

Woke up this morning and suddenly had this crazy urge to just go out to the nearest Starbucks or Coffee Bean for a double shot of Expresso Con Pana! I tell you, if and when either one of those coffee places open up in Damansara Damai, you'd see me there for sure! It has been a long time since I last had a good, relaxed time out to indulge in my passion for coffee! I sure do miss my 'kopi kaki' like Cheng Sum, Lilly, Nelson, Andy, Tony, Angelia and YK. Wonder if they still have their 'coffee fix' every Fridays!

Come july 28 I will be saying 'goodbye' to a friend whom I've only known since 2002 but who has become a dear friend. He has brought me closer to God and he has always been there for me in times of sorrow, despair, joy and happiness. I know he's going away for only 4 years but then it's Rome for goodness sakes! That's far, man! When he comes back, he'll be known as Father Christopher Lee. Ah well, all's well that ends well! I am happy for my dear friend and he will always be my 'voice of sanity' and Angeline's direct line to God! Hahahahahaha! Go in peace Chris and may Jesus, Mary and Joseph be with you all the way! Will be losing another 'kopi kaki' for the next 4 years!

Another milestone breached

July 10 2005: Went to Jaya Jusco in Melaka (yup we were in Melaka for the weekend) and Angel had her ears pierced! Her father and I had decided that she would get her ears pierced after her 1st birthday. Her earlobes are still soft, so less pain! Eddie chose a pair of studs with peridot green stones (Not real ones lah!) and Angel cried only when the studs were shot into her lobes with the piercer gun! Her cries lasted only 2 seconds followed with an 'ooohhhh' when she saw her tear streaked face in the mirror! She stopped bawling after seeing how pretty she looked with the earstuds!

Poor baby was tired out with all the travelling! Slept all the way home from Ayer Keroh toll to the Dengkil R&R where we stopped so that we could use the loo and change her diapers. By the time we reached the apartment and settled down she was all pooped out! Travelling with a child sure has it's challenges but I am not complaining! Beats living out my life without a child! Yeah sure her whiney cries drives me batty, but to see her smiling at me early in the morning when she wakes up is reward enough.

Can't believe it is already a year since Angel became a part of the family! So much joy and smiles now, even my relationship with my mother-in-law has taken a turn for the better! Sometimes when God closes a door, He opens a window.........so maybe next time when tragedy hits, we should bear this statement in mind.

Till the next posting........shalom! God bless!

New car

Hello! Got the new car on Tuesday. Nothing great to shout about. A car is still a car! Gets us to our destination and a heck lot more convienient! At least now no more waiting for public transport!

Still recovering from the party. Never realized that it could be so energy draining just to be a good host! So many days later and I am still exhausted. Angel is just nicely recovering and she is loving her swimming sessions!

Sometimes I really marvel at how blessed I am! To have a wonderful understanding husband, 2 very beautiful daughters, a loving set of siblings and cousins, friends and most of all to have the good Lord Jesus guide bring to my life good and wonderful people and things. Much of the sadness when Patty died has dissapated but still once her birthday and the date of her death comes rolling by, I GO TO PIECES AGAIN! But I guess all the moms and dads who have lost loved ones would understand.

Birthday Party News and other good news

Saturday 2nd July 2005 I woke up early and excited for it was finally the day! Went out for breakfast with the family and got the 1st of many inane excuses given by some invited guests who said they could not make it even when they had confirmed attendance. By then I was immune to the insensitiveness of these people who just couldn't fathom what their cancellation was costing Eddie and me. No people, not monetary wise, just bitter disappointment at their so called 'something came up', 'have to work', etc.....but there were a few who never even called to say that they were not coming. Think of all the food prepared and would have been wasted! By golly! Some of these non showers were family members!

However, I am happy to say that the party was fun and the kiddies enjoyed themselves with the games planned by Estrel and Cindy. The MC, Saysoo did a good job of keeping the kiddies entertained whilst Eddie and I were rushing around trying to make sure we did not neglect anyone...tiring but fun! I was happy to meet up again with Karen and and Li Li. At last, I got to meet Andrea, Li Li's baby daughter who turned 1 in February 2005. She is really a beautiful girl and I am so glad to have met up with so many close and long time friends.

My Angeline enjoyed herself tremendously and her presents have filled 3 boxes now! Soon my spare room will have to be rearranged to accomodate all her stuff as there is barely any walking space in there! She loved all the attention showered on her and by 11pm that night she was already asleep. The whole of Sunday afternoon we all napped and totally rested. Angel is still catching up on her sleep!

Monday 4th July 2005: Angel's actual birthday. Spent the afternoon napping the poor baby! She was so tuckered out. Eddie came home and we took Angel down to the pool as a birthday treat for her. She loved the pool! She wasn't very impressed with the baby pool though. Started squealing with delight when Ed and I took her to the adult pool (of course she had her goggles and floaters on! We are not dumb!) for a while. She screamed with frustration when we got out of the pool and headed home and only calmed down when I promised her that I wouldn't hesitate to 'rotan' her if she didn't quit her caterwauling!

Got a sms from another friend (Ed's ex-colleague) that she had delivered a baby boy that evening of July 4th! Now her son and my Angel share the same date with a year in between them. How nice!

Tuesday 5th July 2005: Got the new car today. Went for a spin and ended up in 1Utama where we bought another swimsuit and a towelling robe for Angel. She was all excited with the suit but gave the new car a big yawn. Tomorrow we will take Angel for her next swim in her new duds!

Thanks to all who made the effort to attend the party and all the gifts given....most important is thanks for reaffirming that there are responsible and fun loving people out there! Cheerio for now!

Perils of Party Plannings Part II

Sighhhhhhhh...........I guess God is really testing my faith and patience. There just seems to be no end of cock ups! First the guest list.........thought it was finally confirmed and I went ahead and confirmed the number of guests with the caterers......now some are cancelling as something has come up and they cannot get away. Ok I am fine with that as some who said no are coming at the minute. No worries as any excess food can be 'ta paued' mah! I have a 5 year old nephew who can eat for 3 persons! yup he's a fat boy and spoilt brat too.....but I love him no matter what.

Then now I have 2 cakes and 1 jelly cake (given FOC by the caterer) and planning of the cake cutting ceremony has now been divided to 2 sessions....1st cake presented by my sister and the jelly cake will now be cut at 5.00pm and the second cake from friends will be cut at 6.00pm and I wonder if my Angel will think Mom and dad have gone mad with so many cake cutting sessions not to mention the amount of cake leftover.......ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Never mind, I shall relish eating the jelly cake leftovers and leave the other cakes to be polished off by whoever wants them! Glad I got the party favours done up and the party games and decos are not under my jurisdiction! Thank goodness I have my cousin Alvin to be my support and all time joker to lift up my flagging spirits! Yay! Alvin!

So to all those coming.....see ya! To those who can't make it, it's ok and God bless you!

Post script to last posting

Come to think about it last week may have been weekly horribilis but Saturday 25th June 2005 turned out to be rather enjoyable. It was the 'annual general gathering' for some of the participants and facilitators of the 44 week Bible Journey program 2002. We all met at Ikano and proceeded to Ikea Restaurant where we ate, chat, laughed and had a good lunch. Turn out was good as all who were informed of the AGG were there. But the best was being able to meet up and yak about anything and everything under the sun! Just because it sounds like we are a very religious group, don't be fooled by it! We too have our 'naughty' moments.

To the gang, thanks so much for the lovely afternoon and attention showered on my mischievious baby. It was good for her to see all the aunties and uncles again! Richard thanks for the sumptious tea at Winter Warmers and Mario thanks again for being my 'date' for the occasion.

Bad week

Gracious! What a week! Starts out with my baby being sick, my hubby having to be in Singapore overnight on Friday when Angeline's fever was still bad......it had to culminate in a worse case scenario Sunday evening.

We parked our car in front of Assumption Family House and thought we were lucky to get the spot. Boy! Were we wrong! When we came out of the church grounds after mass, our car was badly damaged! Some stupid jerk had rammed into our car and destroyed the back wheel axle and the back lights too! To top it off, the idiot ran off!

To the person who did this, you are the scum of the earth! We know where you work, you worm and I hope that someday you will know what it feels like to have your personal belongings destroyed and damaged! Thanks to you, we now have to fork out $$$$$ for repairs and that itself is going to take at least a whole month! And pray tell, how is my husband going to get to work? How are we going to send our sick baby to the hospital? I hope YOU ROT IN HELL YOU WORM!

What's a mother to do?

The doctor who treated my baby on Wednesday night just called. The urine test results came back positive for ecoli. Poor Angel! She was hospitalized from May 9-11 this year for the same problem. Now I have to bring her to the hospital on Monday morning to do another urine test and get more antibiotics. Her doctor told me that Angel will have to go back for another hospital stay to do further tests on her kidney and urinary tract once the ecoli infection has cleared.

Paranoia is fast setting in my being now. My fear of the same problem with Patricia recurring is rearing it's ugly head. I just don't know if I can take another blow like Patricia. My heart is heavy with fear and worry. Where is my faith when I need it the most?????

Just another week more to go and Angel turns one. The 'birthday party of the year' is fast approaching and still so many things to do and I know that by the time the party is over and such I will be the one checking into Assunta!

Please God keep my baby safe and healthy.

Sleepless in Damansara Damai

Yesterday afternoon was harrowing to say the least! My Angeline had a very high fever the whole afternoon and into the night! Took her to the clinic and all the doctor had to say was 'could be viral fever'....I just wanted to scream! Had a sleepless night and only got to sleep at 5 am after her fever broke only to have her dad wake me up at 6 am! Needless to say I've got dark rings and bags under my eyes.....not sexy anymore....PANDA BEAR STRIKES AGAIN!

It never is easy being a mother and a housewife. It may sound kinda cliche but I now know just what my mom went through when my siblings and I were kids. Even more so with me as I am a polio victim. I am one of the fortunate ones. I can walk almost normally with a slight limp and without any aid of a wheelchair or crutches. Makes me appreciate Mom even more. Just wish I had shown her just how much I love and appreciate all she had given me when she was still here. Mom I know you are watching me from above, I just wanna say thanks and I love you Mom. I miss you even more now.

Wonderful news from a good friend

Today I received wonderful news from a very good friend who is more than a friend to me. She is my 'sister' and godmother to both my daughthers. She emailed that she is pregnant! I was so happy to hear that. You see, like me, she too lost her eldest son 4 years ago. Her 2nd son is my godson and now to know that she's expecting again......just blows me away!

I am terrified of getting pregnant again! Yeah well, I am 44 this year and I already have Angel. My fear is that I will favour a child from my own womb over Angel as you all know, I adopted. Plus I am worried about the condition of the baby. Would the baby be normal? Would I be able to carry the baby full term? I am so terrified that this time around the baby would also be like Patricia, a Down Syndrome baby.

I am not against Down Syndrome babies......far from it! I just worry that if the baby is born with Down's, who will be there to care and love him/her? It is just not fair to Angeline to be saddled with the responsibility. Maybe some of you out there may be thinking I am paranoid and crazy to be worrying about a pregnancy at my age! Don't forget that Lin Chin Hsia got pregnant at 47 with her second baby!

Sometimes I wish that I had not started smoking. Then maybe I would have been able to have children 14 years earlier. Yeah, I was smoking 2 packs a day! My gynae told me to quit as my fallopian tubes were narrowing and the chances of me conceiving was low. Whan I finally got pregnant, I quit cold turkey! But by then it was too late. Patricia was born with heart problems, premature at 7 months, weighing only 0.95 kgs and Down's Syndrome. I was 38 when I finally got pregnant and 39 when Patricia was born. Just 1 month and 21 days from my 40th birthday, I held Patricia in my arms for the last time. She died March 1 2001 in my arms with a last painful shuddering breath.

Till today, I can still remember that awful night of March 1 2001. Sometimes I wish that there was a time machine, then I'd go back in time and undo all the bad things that I'd done like smoking and maybe even hold Patricia again in my arms. Yeah wishful thinking.....right!

Perils of Party Plannings!

Hello everyone,

Why didn't anyone warn me that planning a party for a one year old is such a headache??? Even the guest list is like a 'social faux pax' waiting to happen! In the end we ended up inviting close to 100 people (adults and kiddies included!). Then comes the RSVP part where we give a date for all to respond so that we can confirm with the caterers how many pax to cook for, book the hall to try and accommodate the 'masses' so to speak.

With the RSVP date given, we still have some who haven't given any response! There just is so much to do! Thank goodness we have bought the birthday girl's party dresses (2 dresses only mah!), confirmed the hall and got most of the things done except maybe the party packs for the kiddies to pack, ballons and decos to buy........and all these while the papa's going nuts over the cost and mama's so called 'over spending'!

Still it's worth every aggravation and headache because this party is for our beautiful and cute baby, the light of our lives, the pain in the rear and loved to bits by her doting and crazy parents. Just hope that she will not be overwhelmed by the number of people singing her birthday song when she blows out her birthday candle.....hahahahahahahaha!

my baby angeline

I am happy to say that after years of heartbreak since losing my baby Patricia, I am now a mother again to a baby girl (adopted) Angeline who turns one on 4 July. My baby Angel is so cute and mischief is her middle name. She has brought so much joy and laughter into this home and has helped my hubby and me to be more loving and considerate to each other.

Some may say that motherhood sucks but for me it's wonderful. Watching my Angel learning new things smiling and posing each time the camera is aimed at her crawling and now walking makes time pass each day pleasurably.

Thank God for miracles kan? Till the next time, take care!

My Own Blog

Hello friends! Since so many of my friends have their own blogs I thought I'd have my own too! To be honest i know next to nothing about BLOGS so guys and gals be patient with me. Most of the VP people would recognize my VP nick: scully1961........ahakkkkksssssss! YESSSSSSS! I am back!