A matter of time

Sometimes things happen without rhyme or reason...or so we think. If it is something good then it is not a problem. But when bad or sad things happen, the healing process can be long and tedious. Come October 26, my Patricia would have turned 5 if she had lived. Many friends who know me well and some who have also lost their children know better than to make inane remarks to comfort me. But then again there are some people out there who are very insensitive or plain stupid and shoot off their mouths when Patty's birthday or death anniversary comes round.

Such are the remarks that are made: "Aiyo! So long already mah your Patricia die, you still can cry ah? You have Angeline mah, not enough ah?" or "Come on lah, the living are still here, let the dead stay dead in their graves where they belong". My ever patient and loving husband is also grieving for his first born but tells me to ignore these idiots and that it is only "a matter of time" after which they will realise that all I want is for them to shut up and leave me alone.

So what if I still cry when I think of Patricia? So what if I still carry her photo in my wallet? So what if she still lives on in my heart? I carried her in my womb for 7 months, gave birth to her and watched her struggle to keep alive only to have her die in my arms 4 months and 5 days after her birth! It is my right to grieve, my perogative to cry my heart out over my loss! So to those folks out there who have not lost their children through death, please keep quiet about a person's right to grieve and no matter how many 'a matter of time' statements are thrown at a grieving parent, understand that the sorrow and regret will always be with her/him until the day they die.

So folks, it is only "a matter of time" before I lose my cool and tell you to bugger off! God bless!