Well, it's done. Patricia is at her final resting place in Melaka. I am sad and trying to cope. It is hard. Each day that passes only serves to emphasize the empty spot where her urn of ashes used to be. The emptiness in my heart grows alarmingly deeper. I have lost most interest in doing my favourite things like reading. I seem to be running on automated drive mode. Just going about my daily chores because I need to, taking care of Angel, but most of the time I just stare into nothingness and mope.
Christmas? What about it? What is there to celebrate? Disillusioned. Been lied to by the one I love. Picking arguments with him over every little thing. Getting angry irrationally. Crying all alone. He knows but he does nothing. Christmas presents don't mean a thing now. Just want to curl up and cry, think about Patricia. I know Angel needs me too. She does make things easier at times. She knows Mama is upset but she does not understand why.
New Year? What will come? I don't know. Will I still mope or will I have bounced back?
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